Black Mesa
Black Mesa

First Airing:

May 2015

Last Airing:






Episodes (ongoing):


Black Mesa (officially, the Black Mesa Mod for Half-Life) is another one of the series describing Punchwood's adventures, after getting out of prison. The game is rated M for mature, due to all the shooting.


After killing Fluffy in the Carter Hydro Dam, Punchwood enters the dam's control room. There, he experiences a strong feeling of Deja vu after seeing all those buttons. He goes on to cook and eat Fluffy, and lies down on his bedroll to have a rest. There, he has a very strange dream...


Half-Life is a first-person shooter game from the late 1990s, hence the loading screens that occasionally pop up in the video. It's completely the opposite of the sandbox games that Paul so often plays; in Black Mesa, the goal of the game is clear; it's to first go to the antimass spectrometer. There, Punchwood (as Gordon Freeman) pushes a sample in. An explosion occurs next, and a portal to the planet Xen opens up. Creatures from this portal enter the whole facility, attacking any humans that may have survived the explosion.

From there, Punchwood decides to try and get out of the facility, by fighting off the waves of enemies, climbing air ducts (good thing he learned how to do this back in prison) and summoning surviving security guards to his service. Some of the remaining scientists tell Punchwood that the military is coming soon, and that they'll rescue everyone. However, the military doesn't just kill the inhabitants of Xen; they'll kill anything that moves, as part of a cover-up attempt; thus, Punchwood is forced to fight soldiers as he approaches the surface. As a result, Punchwood goes back underground for cover.

There are many enemies that Punchwood will still have to face, and many physical obstacles still lie between him and freedom, but so what? He's a former mob henchman, after all, and was able to escape any jail they put him into, not to mention survive all alone in extreme situations such as extremely hot tropics and Canada after a geomagnetic storm. If he can do all that, there's no reason why he can't defeat Black Mesa. Besides, he's wearing an HEV suit for protection form all the possible nasties in the facility. What can possibly go wrong?


There are fourteen weapons that Pablo Punchwood may use during the course of the series.

  • Crowbar: A simple melee weapon with many advantages, that has become an iconic symbol of Gordon Freeman and the Half-Life series has a whole. Useful for breaking objects and bludgeoning approaching enemies such as Headcrabs.
  • Glock 17: The most basic ranged weapon. Accurate and with average stopping power, this 9mm pistol is unique in that it can be fired underwater. Standard issue with all Black Mesa Security Guards, ammunition is always plentiful. (If the HD Pack is installed, this gun will look like a Beretta M9)
  • .357 Magnum (Colt Python revolver): Powerful and accurate with a slow rate of fire. Ammunition is also somewhat scarce, however it will often kill any enemy up to a Bullsquid with one shot.
  • MP5: Fully automatic with poor stopping power and accuracy, but high magazine capacity and rate of fire. Equipped with a grenade launcher. Standard issue with all HECU troops. It shares ammunition with the Glock 17. If the HD Pack is installed, this gun will look like an M4.
  • SPAS-12: Powerful at close range, but has a slow rate of fire and long reload time. Also comes with the ability to fire two shells at once, thus killing enemies more quickly. Issued to certain HECU soldiers. If the HD Pack is installed, this gun has folding stocks which stay closed.
  • Crossbow: The only sniper weapon in Half-Life. Its projectile is highly accurate but slow moving, making it difficult to use against distant or fast moving targets. Similar to the Glock 17, it can be fired underwater.
  • Hivehand: Also known as the "Hornet Gun". The same weapon used by the Alien Grunts, this gun is a living creature, which appears to be a larva of some sort (because it sports no legs). Firing hornets which target and track enemies, this gun has a short firing time, and is also less powerful. However, it has the advantage of infinitely recharging ammunition. Can also fire hornets directly (although with no homing ability, but a somewhat increased stopping power).
  • RPG: Extremely powerful, but must be reloaded after each shot. Alternate fire activates/deactivates a laser sight; with the laser sight active, the rockets will track the laser to its target, making it useful for taking down helicopters and other flying vehicles or long-range enemies. Similar to the Glock 17 and Crossbow, it can be fired underwater but the rocket becomes much slower.
  • Tau Cannon: An experimental weapon that rapidly shoots beams of tau particles that reflect off surfaces if hit indirectly. Secondary fire charges the weapon up to fire a more powerful beam that can penetrate thin walls and pushes the user in the opposite direction. The recoil is deliberately exaggerated in multiplayer so the player can "Gauss jump" very high and reach hidden areas or escape opponents. This feature is a deliberate nod to "rocket jumping" in Quake (which is not possible in Half-Life). If the gun is kept charged for too long (about 10 seconds), it overloads and discharges, damaging its wielder, as comically represented just before its discovery by Gordon.
  • Gluon Gun: This experimental weapon, named by its creator, fires out a beam of concentrated energy that disrupts its target's molecules. It looks and operates similarly to the proton pack used by the characters in the movie Ghostbusters. Because of its internal weapon name, weapon_egon, it is also known as the Egon gun; this is probably a reference to the Ghostbusters character Egon Spengler.
  • Mk 2 Grenade: A handheld thrown explosive, similar to most grenades. It explodes after 5 seconds and can be bounced off walls. Issued to HECU grunts, supplies are often found in supply depots.
  • Laser Tripmine: A high-explosive Claymore mine-like device that can be attached to walls. It is set off either by damaging the mine or by crossing through the laser "tripwire" emitted from it. In multiplayer, it can be used to form steps by attaching them to the wall in a stair-like fashion, forming a route to jump up.
  • Satchel Charge: A potent explosive that can be thrown a short distance and detonated remotely. They are often scarce and hard to find.
  • Snarks: Aggressive and small alien creatures that quickly pursue their target, pestering and biting, until finally exploding after several seconds (or if shot). If they cannot locate a hostile target, they will turn on the player that set them loose, making them, at times, enemies.

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